Dear Mam 'an Dad 'an all at 'ome
It's bin a bit, an' time 'as passed
since I last sat down an' wrote
so 'ere's me news at long, long last
you'll be glad to 'ear I 'ope.
We moved last week to Ow'dam Street
an' sad to say, I fairly admit,
an' confess to only thee
it 'ad to be, a speedy, after midnight flit.
By gum our Mam, we 'ad a fright
you mustn't set off laughin'
the cart we 'ad, (no 'orse in sight)
was full to overflowin'.
Our Arnold set off pullin'
(the damn thing weighed a ton)
an' as our Billy set off pushin'
the wheels began to run
We did our best to stop it
leavin' Billy well be'ind
our Arnold nearly 'ad a fit
an' asked if we were blind.
“You must've seen the thing set off”
he bawled at all concerned
“I knew you all were bloody daft”
then Mam the cart just overturned.
Me mangle rolled into the road
an' the sideboard followed next
I thought our Arnold would explode
by gum he can get vexed!
“Save the mangle” Billy cried,
(he'd run to catch us up)
“if not the washing can't be dried
an' the sideboard's not worth much”
So we left the sideboard were it fell
an' 'eaved the mangle back
Arnold swore and promised hell
'till I give the lad a crack!
Things got better after that
an' nowt fell off again
we finally got to Ow'dam street
just after four a.m.
Safe unpacked we went ter bed
wi' tempers calmed an' sweet
an' that our Mam, is 'ow we were led
to 'ere in Ow'dam street.
Your loving daughter Agnes
P.S. If yer could send us a couple a bob fer rent there'll be no more flitting after dark
Author Unknown