Dear Mam 'an Dad 'an all at 'ome

It's bin a bit, an' time 'as passed

since I last sat down an' wrote

so 'ere's me news at long, long last

you'll be glad to 'ear I 'ope.

We moved last week to Ow'dam Street

an' sad to say, I fairly admit,

an' confess to only thee

it 'ad to be, a speedy, after midnight flit.

By gum our Mam, we 'ad a fright

you mustn't set off laughin'

the cart we 'ad, (no 'orse in sight)

was full to overflowin'.

Our Arnold set off pullin'

(the damn thing weighed a ton)

an' as our Billy set off pushin'

the wheels began to run

We did our best to stop it

leavin' Billy well be'ind

our Arnold nearly 'ad a fit

an' asked if we were blind.

“You must've seen the thing set off”

he bawled at all concerned

“I knew you all were bloody daft”

then Mam the cart just overturned.

Me mangle rolled into the road

an' the sideboard followed next

I thought our Arnold would explode

by gum he can get vexed!

“Save the mangle” Billy cried,

(he'd run to catch us up)

“if not the washing can't be dried

an' the sideboard's not worth much”

So we left the sideboard were it fell

an' 'eaved the mangle back

Arnold swore and promised hell

'till I give the lad a crack!

Things got better after that

an' nowt fell off again

we finally got to Ow'dam street

just after four a.m.

Safe unpacked we went ter bed

wi' tempers calmed an' sweet

an' that our Mam, is 'ow we were led

to 'ere in Ow'dam street.

Your loving daughter Agnes

P.S. If yer could send us a couple a bob fer rent there'll be no more flitting after dark

Author Unknown